Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
