I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
