my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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