We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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