Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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