we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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