so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
