I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
