Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
