i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
