Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
