If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
