weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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