im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
