you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
