He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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