I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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