so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize