But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
