I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
