I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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