Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
