Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
