The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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