Got a toothbrush?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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