But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
