if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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