glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
