It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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