Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
