Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
