He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
