i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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