Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
