She's JV to your varsity
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize