I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
