All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
