Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
