Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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