I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
