why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
