Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
