they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
