bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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