"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize