I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize