What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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