dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
