I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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