Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
