I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
