I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize