I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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