Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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