I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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