I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bring money and cleavage
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
