This girl is more easily done than said...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize