I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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