I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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